It's Great To Be (Semi)Young And A Yankee

If You Could Be a Yankee:

Position I would play: I’m a natural 2nd baseman, meaning that’s where I normally play. I’m very far from being a natural though.

Number I would wear: #27. 5 is taken.

My at-bat music would be: Don’t Tread On Me by the Damn Yankees, Rat Race by Child’s Play, Born To Run by Bruce Springsteen (Just cuz I love Bruce)

I would befriend: Bernie – we could play guitar together, and Jeter because all the women like him and I could learn to like being a sidekick.

I would stay away from: Kevin Brown, Mr. Schizo.

My biggest asset would be: My quick wit (for deflecting attention from my errors).

Sunflower seeds, chew, gum, or other?: Sunflower seeds, sometimes. Gum mostly. It always helped with my timing when batting.

My nickname would be: Teflon because I’d have no stick.

My pregame routine would be: I’d binge on KFC and then throw up from the nerves.

My in-game superstitions would be: I’d have to do the YMCA dance evey game on the top step of the dugout.

Suzyn Waldman asks a long-winded question that you have no idea how to answer. You say: I defer to my Captain. (That’s why you’re the Captain, KB.)

They would have to let me join because: No one loves the Yankees more than YB. There are those who are at my level, but none more devoted. (Besides, I’d probably make them tired from all the crying I’d do if they left me out.)